What is one to do when everyone around
him seams like a perfect peace of a well oiled machine. A machine thats been
working for what seams like forever. A machine that you feel you are a part of
and yet you cant seam to find a place in where you fit just right. You can
find places to shimmy your way in to, or places where you can sort of jam your
way in, but not a single place where you know you just fit perfectly.
These past few days have been full of
realisations. I feel like my ideas, my way of viewing the world and how it
works, doesn't just clash with what they all believe but it even seams to insult
some of them. I don't understand why, the things that seam so clear, fair, just
and simple to me, apparently are
insulting, heretic, and just plain wrong to them. This has happened to me in all
sort of different subjects but for today I’ll vent about liturgy.
I mean Ive always been the strange kid,
the one that lives outside the box, and I’ve grown use to it, sort of even
proud of it. But the problems comes when I’m joining a community so organised
and ruled by tradition that seams to want for all of us to think the same way.
Ive been hearing some things lately that
are really making noise inside of my head. Things like “You have to wear this
and this” “You cant say that even when you know its true” “You have to move
your hands this way and don’t even think of doing it differently” and the worst
of all “You don't have to understand it, just accept it” I mean really?
And when I try and post a different
opinión all of a sudden I’m the bad guy “So you know more that millions of well
studied professionals that have studied this over and over do you?” “So you're
saying our traditions are out of date and we should just throw them out the
window?” “This is what we allow, if you don't want to follow our rules you don't
have to be here”. And I guess they are right I don't HAVE to be here, but it
turns out I like it here. I feel called to serve my God as a priest. But a
priest, and I am doing my best to achieve that. But sometimes I wonder if I really am cut out for this.
I understand that the church has
traditions that cant be broken, and Im not trying to break anything, im just
saying:
Ø I don't think God cares if you lift your hands higher tan the norm
tell you to, I think what he wants is for us to lift out hearts and allow him
to mould us to his image.
Ø I don't think God cares how we ring our bells, how we place our
candles, or how much incense we use. I think he wants us to live every
celebrations as brothers, to respect one and other, and to show gratitud and reverence to He who made us.
Im not saying liturgy and things like
that is wrong or worthless, of course not.
Ø It helps us a lot by using symbols to show spiritual realities
that are not visible to man.
Ø It helps us by uniting all people in one same rite.
Ø We need to be respectful and honor our rituals, for they are what
unites us with our Lord.
But they are rules that we have come up
with over the years. Man kind created rites to be able to have access to the
divine. And thats OK. I just want to make one thing clear
The liturgy was given to us by the
church, not by Christ. So let us not try and threat it as a divine commandment,
let us remember that the only commandment Christ gave us that really matters is
to love.
